Rebounding

I have made huge strides the last few days. I think my hormone levels are getting back to normal which helps. I never knew anything in life could be so difficult as losing a pregnancy. And with the death of both of my grandparents it has been a tough month to say the least. But in the last few days my anger and despair is slowly being replaced with gratitude and hope. I am remembering before October I was not getting pregnant at all. It is a huge step for us and we have very fond memories from those 8 weeks. We got all the genetic testing back. Everything was perfectly normal. This was a huge relief to know that I do have healthy eggs. I just hope my body continues the trend of wanting to get pregnant and next time it will want to stay that way(for nine monthes at least). There is nothing anyone can say to make what happened better or hurt less but all the e-mails and phone calls letting us know we were in your thoughts means a lot-thanks.

Bad minutes...good minutes. Thank goodness for good husbands.

I recently had a second miscarriage at 8 weeks. I usually catagorize my days to either a bad day or good day. Since the miscarriage it is now measured in bad minutes and good minutes. I can transition from laughter to tears and back again in a matter of seconds. I am feeling very bipolar latley. Tom had me laughing today and walked away to put something back in the fridge and literally when he came back I was bawling. Women have it pretty tough sometimes, my case in point. But I think we often forget and take for granted what the men go through too. They have no control over any of the physical aspects nor can they relate to how it must feel to lose something that was once living inside you. But just the same it was his child too. It is a loss for him just the same. Yet he is there. Supportive, anticipating needs, and dealing with a bipolar wife all at the same time. If I havn't said it enough I love you Tom. I love the way you hug me just before you know I'm about to cry, I love that you can make me laugh even in times like this, and I love how you never freak out because Lord knows I do enough of that for the both of us. I love you and am looking forward to a week away together.